Day 60: All the wealth that I need

Today’s insight: I've acquired all the wealth that I need. And I have done it with only one thing I wish I’d done differently, really. I should have seen to it to have raised children. I’m not blue-eyed of course and know that it’s quite the challenge. Still, I think I could have been myself in a completely different way if I’d raised children. What I've noticed over the years of my contact with children and their families, is how difficult it is to give them the support they need, rather than always helping, correcting, improving. Not to mention the challenge of being a good role model!

There’s a lot to share on this topic. For now, suffice it to say that, next to massage, children are my favorite  things in the world!

Day 59: Shabbat Shalom

It's Friday night and Rabbi Chaim and his wife Mina have invited me to dinner. I'm not particularly observant, though I like many of our traditions, but I do very much appreciate having some Yiddishkite introduced into my life from time to time. And no one does it better than they. To my great good fortune, Chaim and Mina live only a couple of blocks from my house. It's an opportunity to speak Hebrew, connect with my religion and, not least, partake of Mina's fabulous cooking.

To mark the occasion, I am lighting Shabbat candles, using the candlesticks handed down through my mom by my Aunt Giza, many years gone now but still warm in my heart.

Shabbat Shalom everyone. Chicken soup...here I come :-)

Day 58: What a beautiful city I live in

No words necessary...OK, maybe one. Strandvägen.

Day 57: What's cooking?

I opened the fridge earlier today and this is what I saw:

• corn (1 cup or so)
• black beans (half a cup)
• half a zucchini
• three medium potatoes
• one egg
• an almost empty carton of milk
• shredded cheese

Mmmm...nothing exciting and nothing at all that just springs to mind. People have this impression that I am a good cook, an assessment I do not wholly agree with. To me, a good cook is someone who can whip something up without referencing a recipe. The first great love of my life was (still is for that matter) a fabulous cook. His is still the best Mexican food I've ever eaten, including all restaurants. On our first date, he cooked me a scrumptious meal...veal cutlets as I recall...and impressed me endlessly by brewing ice tea from scratch. He always said that anyone can be a good cook, if they follow three simple rules:

1. Buy the best ingredients
2. Follow the recipe
3. Don't take any shortcuts

Who am I to argue with the gourmet? 


But I digress...
The stomach was growling and the ingredients were few. My solution was to chop the potatoes and zucchini (in the Cuisinart of course) and then mix in the beans and corn; add cumin, curry, salt, garlic and milk to the egg and beat until combined; grease a casserole and layer half the vegetables, half the cheese, more vegetables, pour the egg mixture over and top off with the remaining cheese. Bake in a 200 degree (Celsius) oven for about 40 minutes. Voilà:

 
By my own definition, perhaps I was a cook today after all :-)
My stomach was happy in any event...and there are leftovers to look forward to.

Day 56: Songs of my friendships

I love planning events. Big ones, small ones. My own, other people's. I love settling on all the details, putting them into motion. Breathing life into an occasion.

One such occasion comes up in August when two of my friends come for a visit, one from NY and one from Israel. The three of us went to high school together and, with the exception of a birthday party several years back, this will be the first time that the three of us will be in the same place at the same time since I moved to Sweden. Now that's cause for celebration. And an opportunity to introduce people who are near and dear to me to each other. And so the birth of Wine Women and Song.

Soon, I will have to set focus on practicalities such as the menu and seating arrangements and the form the evening will take. For now, though, to get into the mood, I've started on a playlist. Which has got me thinking about songs I associate with different people in my life. Either because we've sung them together, or listened to them together, or danced to them together. Or because they carry a certain energy (and often a message...I am after all such a word person :-)).

This particular gathering of women with, to quote one of them, "indomitable spirit," lends itself nicely to Not Ready to Make Nice (Dixie Chicks). Each of us in her own way has make her mark on the world, lived an active engaged life, and has on more than one occasion been "mad as hell and can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should." It's carried me back to my years in JHS and HS when singing was such a central part of my life. In those days our idea of a fun afternoon or evening was to gather in someone's living room and sing. Our repertoire covered a lot of ground, from Broadway musicals to modern folk to pop and rock and Motown and standards. 

Here's what's on the list so far. What makes you happy singing along to, then and now?

Day 55: Elegant solutions

OK, I admit it. I am a closet Wordfeud fanatic. I could say Scrabble or even Words With Friends, but Wordfeud Fanatic has a kind of alliteration I like.

But I digress...
A feature I really like in WF is the option to play on a random board. This means that the positions of all the bonus squares (DL, DW, TL, TW, etc.) are randomized and you play each game on a different layout. One consequence is that a word someone places can be worth an inordinate number of points. My record is 468 points but I have heard reports of even higher scores. Naturally, this is not too problematic when you happen to be that someone, although it can be discouraging to your opponent. I've had more than one opponent resign after I place a particularly high scoring word.

The other day, someone started a new game with a word scoring 226 points. He actually thanked me for not giving up. I figure it isn't over till it's over, though I admitted I had quite a bit of catching up to do. (And, yes, I lost that game!).

Every once in a while, I manage to place a word in a particularly satisfying way. Player "John's_Wife" had been lagging behind for most of our match but in the last three rounds had managed to close the gap. Our scores stood 437 (me) to 413 (her) with no tiles left. Dangerously close, as I had the high scoring Q to get rid of before the end of the game.

Suddenly, I saw it. An opportunity to score more than 20 points, which would pretty much secure my victory.

It's her turn now so the board will change again. But what would your next move be if you were me? So far, I can see a way to score 24 points. Any better suggestion? :-)

Day 54: Behöver du hjälp?

Decided to walk to the Language Exchange MeetUps in Gamla Stan today. On my way, I made a point of stopping every time I saw people with a map and asking them if they needed help. Every person I asked said no, which was kind of disappointing. Here I was, ready willing and able, only to be met with such utter confidence :-) I consoled myself in the knowledge that there were now half-a-dozen or so travelers who will have had friendly contact with (what I hope they would consider, in any event,) a local. It's my personal investment in making Stockholm an even friendlier place. 

My reward...for walking if not for being friendly...was this store in Gamla Stan that is just a sight to behold. Anyone who knows me understands why. I just had to capture it visually (remember the days we used to say "capture it on film?").

Day 53: A sense of accomplishment

My cousin celebrates her birthday tomorrow. She was born a few months after me and I tease her about being older and wiser. We grew up together in Israel until I was eight years old and my family moved to the U.S. She and her mom accompanied my mother and me on the boat trip to the U.S. Two weeks of uninhibited fun aboard a fancy cruise ship.

But I digress...
In a moment of inspiration (or insanity...I can't quite make up my mind) I decided I would write her a birthday greeting in Hebrew. Now, to put this in context, I finished all of third grade before we moved and the last time I attempted writing more than my name and perhaps shalom in Hebrew was many decades ago. I had installed the Hebrew keyboard on my iPhone so I could at least see the letters. For the uninitiated, Hebrew has a non-western alphabet. To complicate matters even more, some of its vowels are letters while others are symbols that are placed below or inside letter as an aide to pronunciation.

It was a good reminder of the challenges faced by young children when they are first learning how to read. Having to learn to associate those squiggly lines with a letter and each letter with a sound. Not to mention the idiosyncrasies of spelling.

She was able to decipher what I wrote though...and guess how proud I was!

Until tomorrow...

Day 52: Squishiness

Is there anything quite as squishy as an infant? Today, I had the pleasure of cuddling with an extra-squishy 4-or-so-month-old. The gurgling, the drooling, that wonderful baby smell. The smiles, the cooing, the curious intent looking. Best of all, rocking while singing to her and watching her drift off to sleep in my arms. Yup, there were a few kisses thrown in there too. Bliss!

I do consider the fact that I never will take part in life's greatest experiment...having and raising children...the one true tragedy of my life. Which makes me all the more grateful to have been blessed with friends and family who so willingly share theirs with me. There is always a toy drawer in my house with playthings appropriate to a variety of ages from babies through the elementary school years. Because a home with toys invites visits from the younger lot and makes Auntie Odella a happy camper. Welcome!

Day 51: Leftovers

What a treat to open the fridge and find yummy food to eat...without having to prepare any of it myself. Yesterday, I munched on the incredibly delicious cantaloupe and honeydew melon bits that were left over from the book club gathering at my place on Tuesday. Melons are not always what you hope they would be but this time we hit the jackpot. Both the cantaloupe and honeydew were juicy and sweet...just the way I like them.

As my walk in the glorious sunshine was drawing to a close today, I began to think about dinner for tonight. I admit I find it hard to get motivated to cook for one. My first thought was pasta...boil some water, throw in some pasta, complete with sauce (I have pesto in the fridge) and eat. But then I remembered the wonderful spinach and carmelized onion quiche that was also left over from book club. Warmed up in the toaster oven and accompanied by mango mineral water, it hit the spot.

What are you having for dinner tonight? Whatever it is...smaklig måltid!

Day 50: Happily pummeled

There is nothing on the planet...and I mean nothing...that I like better than massage. Getting one, that is :-)

After three days of being on my feet followed by an entire day of cleaning at home, my big reward today was an hour-long massage. The masseur commented afterwards that it was easy to treat me because I had no problem relaxing into the massage. Not surprising with the amount practice I've had!

Starting with a new masseur or masseuse is always chancy. Because as much as I like massage, there's nothing worse than a bad one. A good massage has just the right amount of pressure. It should be deep enough to feel your muscles relaxing but not so deep that you scream in pain. Worse than too much pressure, is too little pressure. Makes my muscles contract in frustration and leaves me more tense than when it began.

I'm happy to report that today's experience was quite good. This masseur paid a good deal of attention to what his hands were feeling and spent extra time on those ugly knots. Best part, though, was when he massaged my feet and calves...pure heaven! Can't wait for the next time.

Day 49: Spic and span

Our roses are in bloom and the cleaning crew was here today. It took three people (two of them plus me) working for two hours (but really I started a couple of hours before them) to rid the place of construction dust. And that's without them touching the bedroom.

I'm so happy that the book club meets at my place tonight. It's had me keeping up a steady pace long after the cleaners left. And now I get to enjoy a freshly cleaned apartment...with dinner thrown in! (We're doing pot luck). Now that's what I call a great day :-)

Day 48: Happiness in a solemn setting

The end of a singing workshop is always bittersweet. To have followed a group of people so closely for three full days, rejoiced at each achieved breakthrough, is truly a privilege. This particular group succeeded in creating a supportive and celebratory environment on top of it all. Sad to have it come to an end. And content in the knowledge that it is not the end. For many, this is just the beginning.

At lunchtime, I took a walk and wound up at the truly beautiful graveyard outside the church next door to where the workshop took place. This graveyard, like so many others in Sweden, is in full bloom right now, masses of flowers planted to decorate the graves of the people buried here. I was amused at the sign posted quite visibly on one of the lamp posts advising people that winter decorations and lanterns are allowed only between November and March. There was something touching too, at the thought that people come to decorate the graves seasonally.

Strewn along the many paths throughout the graveyard are sturdy benches, inviting to rest, contemplate and, yes...why not, sing. A most pleasant way to spend an hour, among the birds and trees and those many souls that have been laid to rest in this lovely oasis in the middle of town.

Day 47: The hills are alive

It was a great plan: Take advantage of the glorious weather to start off the second day of our singing workshop outside on Fjällgatan (Mountain Street). Fjällgatan runs high above the water with an amazing view of Stockholm. There is a stretch of the street that is a regular stop for tourist buses from which the view is especially grand. Nothing blocks the way between you and the islands across the water, making it the ideal location to practice singing out, projecting and learning how to make your voice carry. All the way across the water.

We arrived ahead of schedule at 9:45 AM and were met by this wonderful view:

I kid you not. Fog. Thick fog. Impossible to see more than 10 feet in front of you type fog. And it was drizzling. How happy were our workshop participants going to be to stand in the rain and project their voices into the grayness of fog? There's a saying in Swedish that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing (it rhymes in Swedish and sounds much more catchy :-)) so we decide to persevere.

Dutifully, participants take their positions, find their Ki, inhale and exhale, lift their voices in song and, lo and behold, an hour later the fog lifts as we continue to sing, now into this view:

We literally sang the fog away! Satisfied and hungry, off to lunch we went, big smiles on all our faces. Great beginning to a good day.

Day 46: Body and Soul

Three days with two 8-year-olds at non-stop activities take a toll on the body. The water park especially breathed life into body parts I'd long forgotten I have. So for two days now, I've felt nooks and crannies, joints that want oiling, muscles longing for massage. Then today, on the warmest day so far this summer, I spent six hours assisting at a singing workshop in town.

My goal for the three day workshop is to be in my body and let the singing arise from there. It's taken me years to get to this point and today the lightbulb finally switched on. It's that sing walking I wrote about in an earlier blog entry. Earphones securely in, I spent our lunch break walking around Söder singing from the gut, smiling at passersby and ignoring completely any strange looks I got.

It was like being transported back in time, to JHS and Mr. Patterson's chorus class. The class that stuck together for three years, from seventh to ninth grade. A time when we sang because singing was a natural part of our days. A time of expression because expressing was so self-evident. It wouldn't have occurred to us not to sing. That energy, that focus and self-confidence, that fun, is what I am on my way toward recovering. And it's all in the body, in movement, in singing for singing's sake. In singing to fill the soul.

Day 45: Home sweet home

Thoroughly and totally satiated after a great picnic in the park with my book club buddies. On the menu: fresh fruit salad, home made ice cream and brownies and cheese cake, four cheeses, crackers, potato salad and mashed potatoes, grilled sausages (meat and vegetarian), hot dog buns, wine and water. And there were only 11 of us.

It was a lovely Swedish summer evening, still light at 9 PM as I head home. The occasion was to bid farewell to Elizabeth who has led the book club most recently and is moving back to the U.S. with her husband and their young son. Such occasions always afford me the opportunity to reexamine my decision to stay. Because for me the question of moving here is long forgotten history. Being here is a fact. And the answer to "where are you from?"...which I still get asked surprisingly often...is Söder, the part of Stockholm where I live.

Which I guess just about sums it up on this temperate eve in the country I am happy to call home.

9:30 PM, July 6, 2012, Stockholm, Sweden

Day 44: History in the making

Those who were privileged enought to know the man, know Frankie's way as a way of dancing, a way of looking at the world, a way of being that inspires smiles and life and warmth. And now it is also known as a way in Sweden. Quite literally!

What once used to be called Skolvägen (School Way) in Herräng, Sweden has now officially been renamed Frankie Mannings väg. 

Herräng is a very small town about 110 km north of Stockholm where the annual international lindy hop summer camp has been taking place for 30 years now. Frankie Manning taught Lindy hop, and regaled participants with his rich repetoire of memories, at the camp for most of its thirty years until his death three years ago. His last summer in Herräng was 2007. He was 93 years old at the time.

This monument to a great man is so well deserved. I couldn't be prouder or more happy.

Day 43: Taking a break

So, just to prepare you, tomorrow my Sweeties and I are off on vacation. It's become our tradition and something we always look forward to. This year we're off to Legoland and I'm not sure who's more excited, the boys or me!

It's been ages since I've been to Legoland, and to be able to hang there with two 8 year olds is just, well, perfect. I've been living at their house for the past couple of days while my bathroom renovation continues, and we've been busy planning how to organize our trip. I love this part of taking a journey with the boys. The planning, the actual travel time (this year by airplane for the very first time together!). Each year has also been a milestone of sorts.

"That was really fun, Auntie Bella." That was Bruno after we spent the day at the Space Needle in Seattle a few years ago. First time they rode a roller coaster. It was very exciting, sending them off. I think I surprised them both when I said OK. But I figured, if they weren't scared, why should I put that thought in their heads. (Plus there were other kids around their dimensions riding :-))

All packed and ready to go!

But I digress...
I was preparing you...for a pause. A brief absence. A time for immersion in happy. I'll be back on July 5th, with a new bathroom, new energy, and a new post.

Day 42: My summer is made!

Today, I move to my next location in town...the Sweeties, their parents and Bagarmossen. Any of you who have known me for any period of time, know about my Sweeties, who know me as Auntie Bella and who have been the apples of my eye since the day (after) they were born. (Someone recently said that 8 was almost too old to be called sweeties. I say, an Auntie Bella prerogative ;-))

But I digress...
It's been incredibly relaxing living in Ingrid's apartment. Such a comfortable and warm space. Gave it a little TLC...as a special thank you to Ingrid, for being so neighborly. The art of neighborliness is somewhat lost on many Swedes. It's not really a part of the culture here. But Ingrid and Leif have for years been the type of neighbors I used to have in NY growing up. And that my mom had until the day that she died, still living in the same building.

Hej då Ingrid! Och TACK!

Happy news for the day: the bathroom may well be done ahead of schedule, maybe as early as July 5! I'm way too weary of contractors to count on it. But still...the tiling (both walls and floor) is done, the electrical work is finished. They have to finish the ceiling and mount the fixtures, which I think is the least complicated part of the project. All in all, it looks promising and an excellent note on which to kick off the summer, which I officially declared open today!

On the itinerary so far:

• Vacation with Sweeties
• Elizabeth Gattman's bon voyage party
• Songsemester i stan
• Dinner with Travis and Suellen
• Cynthia visits from Herräng
• Hesselby Slott Folk Festival
• Försäljning på loppis

all leading up to...ta-ta-ta-ta...Lori and Dorit's visit in August! Cause for celebration, n'est-ce pas?

Day 41: Cheap laugh

I find most of the "cutesy" things people post on FB superfluous. But every once in a while, something actually makes me laugh out loud, as this one did:

Admit it, you're laughing too. The cartoon also reminds me of author Lori Berhon's most recent blog entry about The New Fossils in which she reflects on all the things that have gone extinct in her (our) lifetime. One thing that has yet to go extinct are books and, if you haven't done so already, you should buy and read Berhon's The Breast of Everything. I guarantee you haven't read anything like it!